Envy & Friendship

Envy is a horrible feeling. I absolutely detest it with every ounce of my being. Yet, we all feel it creeping on us and seeping into our bones.

Envy is a struggle I have faced time and time again. Mainly, I envy others abilities to be social, to make friends, and to have many close friendships. When I type this all out, I realize how ridiculous this all is.

I am blessed with the best friends I could ask for, and what we have is no less special than the friendships others have as well.

A big factor in this aspect of my jealousy tends to be the fact that most of my best friends do not attend the same school that I do. While there are many times that I am grateful of this fact, for multiple reasons, I can’t help but long for the security of a big group of friends to surround me at school.

What I have come to realize is that it doesn’t matter. My goal in life is to live for Jesus everyday. If I successfully do that, then I will build friendships from it, and many other results with occur as well.

Sociality is a trait that is not nearly as easy for me as it is for other people, but I have come to realize that even if it’s not one of my strengths, Jesus has blessed me with many others.

My fear is of the initial talking and getting to know a person before I’m comfortable with them. I fear judgement and unacceptance.

What I need to accept is the fact that friendships can’t be formed without risks. Heck, nothing great in relationships and friendships can come without risks. We have to take risks if we want a chance at success. Envy is a pitiful reason to covet things that you, in fact, could have yourself.

My prayer is that I can put my envy behind me, and take the risk to form friendships. To put myself out there, and be willing to possibly get hurt. With Jesus I can do anything, but with myself alone I can do nothing.

It is with Jesus that I will take risks, live for Him, and build friendships. It would be without Jesus’ pride in me that I would sit back and covet what is within reach.

As much as I hate the phrase, everything does happen for a reason. Only the Father knows.

All prayers appreciated,

–Changing for Him


10 thoughts on “Envy & Friendship

  1. Sharon J. Gramling February 2, 2014 / 12:05 am

    Definitely praying for you. Your honesty is refreshing. You express yourself well, and that is a gift from God that’s all yours. I’d love to be your friend. Thanks for following my diary blog… personal thoughts are valuable and powerful. God bless you.


  2. gallopingstallion February 2, 2014 / 12:27 am

    This is very well said. From my perspective, as a bit older than you, this notion will never completely cease, because we are human and this seems to be a condition of humanity since the fall. Every good step and decision made in life includes risk, especially entering into, or even attempting to enter into a relationship with another one of these humans, we’re talking about. Then when you have entered the relationship, you are guaranteed disappointment and failures in that relationship to happen, BUT that is when the greatest opportunity exists. For it is those moments when your response to the struggle can strengthen and deepen the relationship to new depths never previously found in that relationship, due to the up and down, ebb and flow of the relationship. Allowing Jesus to be the core is brilliance beyond your years. Keep letting Jesus be the light leading you through your day. Check out James 1:1-5. It speaks bounds to this subject! Sorry to be so long winded, but I thoroughly enjoyed the post!


    • faythmartin19 February 2, 2014 / 12:37 am

      Don’t apologize, I honestly fully appreciated your words. :) Thanks for that.


      • gallopingstallion February 2, 2014 / 12:41 am

        :-) Thank you for being genuine, authentic, and transparent in your writing. It’s what I also strive for.


      • faythmartin19 February 2, 2014 / 12:46 am

        Anytime. It’s my pleasure to have readers like you who actually take the time to read my personal reflections and thoughts. :)


  3. 1reward February 2, 2014 / 3:18 pm

    you are a wonderful young woman. Any young person who is so concerned about their relationship with God that it is the foundation of everything they do is a truly special young person. Its a joy to see a young person in a loving relationship with the King!


    • faythmartin19 February 2, 2014 / 3:21 pm

      Thank you for your kind words. I only pray that I can live as well as my words state.


      • 1reward February 2, 2014 / 3:26 pm

        Don’t worry about that. You can do all things through christ who strengthens you. No matter how many times you try and fail to live for Jesus, just get up and keep trying He always wants to be your friend. He is madly deeply in love with you!


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