How Do I Want to Live

If you’ve read some of my previous “deep” posts on this blog you may have taken a guess that I’m not exactly the most cheery optimistic person you’ll ever meet. I wouldn’t go as far to say that I’m a pessimist, but I’m not on the other end of that scale either. Certainly, I have been called out on acting pessimistic in some way or another on occasion.

Anyways, on to the subject. Recently I’ve been eagerly counting down the days until summer. There are only 23.5 days of school left, and I am looking forward to when the count is down to 0. Nonetheless, I’ve also reasoned with myself and I realize that I don’t necessarily want to have that outlook on life at the moment.

Maybe this is all those quotes that I see catching up to me. They read something similar to, “don’t live all your life for Fridays, weekends, and the summer, live for now”. I feel as though God is telling me to really contemplate this though, and so, I shall.

How is it possible to have fun in school when you’re just looking ahead to summer? With your focus on the future, it’s often quite hard to live life to the fullest in the present. However, my life motto is not exactly “carpe diem” or “live life to the fullest”. No, what I want to live by, and what I try to live by is in the footsteps of Christ. Each morning I tell myself to remember that He is with me throughout the day, and that I should live for Him.

That’s what I tell myself, but do I live up to that? To be honest, I really have no idea. I have my faults, I stumble, I stutter, I disappoint myself in staying quiet, I find joy in new friendship, and I sin like the rest of us. I ask myself, am I just saying that I’ll do this? Or am I actually doing this? More often than not I feel as though I’m living for myself, and not for Him.

The truth is, I don’t have the strength alone to go about my day with a positive attitude and living for Jesus. Simultaneously, I also don’t have the time to let Satan give me doubt and get preoccupied with it.

This weekend I got the chance to listen to the inspirational Joni Eareckson Tada speak, and wow is she inspiring. She went through so much and still has managed to serve and find happiness thorough her trials. So, again, I alone don’t have the strength, but God does.

God can, and will give me the strength.

I pray that God will give me the strength to go about these next five weeks and live my life for Him in school. I only have the opportunity to serve Him in high school for so long, and so now isn’t the time to cop out. I appreciate your prayers as well and am very appreciative that you’ve taken the time to actually read and listen to what I’ve just written.

Bless you,



One thought on “How Do I Want to Live

  1. Sharon J. Gramling May 12, 2014 / 3:56 pm

    In prayer, I’m coming against all condemnation in your life. Fear and condemnation are the two greatest obstacles to hearing God. You were formed in approval and He approves of your desire to serve Him and hold on, friend. You’re right – He’s your strength. But there’s SO much more He desires to show you. Among all your other prayer partners, please know you also have one in me… I’d be delighted to pray with you regarding specific matters that trouble your soul, any time. Be blessed, Fayth. :)


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