There will always be a time in your life when you are faced with a (or multiple) decision(s).
Making decisions is scary. Every little change in your life can ultimately impact you astronomically.
Recently, I’ve been hit in the face with a bunch of decisions. Something awakened inside of me and I’ve finally decided to accept and address the fact that I’m not truly happy with the way my life currently is. There is a mix of different priorities and time commitments that I’m questioning, and I have some very important choices to make.
My mum says that the teenage years are the prime time for change, and I can see that. Now that I’m young, it’s the opportune time to start exploring and stepping out of the comfort zone. Still, that is easier said than done, as most things seem to be in this day and age.
Now, for me, the ever overcomplicating person, it is definitely not without regret that I am facing these decisions and inevitable changes (or chances for change). In a way, I could carry on living life the way I am now. Dabbling in a little of this, spending a lot of time with that, and I would’ve been…okay. Not exactly happy, not exactly not, that is about what I would’ve been. I probably would be off drifting in this ocean of life somewhere on the edges of the eye of a turbulent storm.
But I’ve made a resolution: I want to be happy. Doesn’t everyone? You might ask. I know I asked myself that question, and yes, I wholeheartedly believe that everybody wants to be happy. However, happiness is not something that is easily achieved. I’m about to make some big decisions, and I know that a little spark of regret is going to follow me no matter what I choose. My ridiculously conflicted self just wants to be happy, and so I’m going to try and set my soul at ease. This is not something that can happen without God playing a part in my life, and so it is with serious consideration, lots of tears, long talks, and prayers that I am saying this.
Regret is this big, gaping, piercing cloud sometimes. It gnaws away at me, and I let it. Still, as I am praying about these decisions and changes that are bound to happen, I’m praying for peace. Regret is unnecessary, we can live without it. In fact, life is often better without regret. I’m not talking about a healthy regret after a sinful decision, no, I’m talking about an anxious regret, one of those regrets that make you question everything.With God’s help, I will overcome regret, among other things. With prayers of guidance and trust I pray to shame regret, to be given the wisdom to make the decisions and changes that will be accompanied by the least regret–
I need to focus on what is best for me and what is God’s will. At the moment, the impact of whatever decision I make is not to be based off of some third parties’ opinions and the thoughts of other mundanes around me. Everyone is deserved of happiness, including myself, and I pray to attain that with God and by His will. The taunts and jeers of other humans and my own sinful conscience will oft do nothing but sway me into a miserable state of unhappiness.
In this whirlwind of a post, I think I’m trying to say that change is inevitable. Decisions must be made, things change, regret happens, but life moves on. God wills what He wills, and He will let it be known to me with time. If you think of it, pray for me to discover what God wills for me.
We all have our moments of doubt and wish things turned out differently once in a while, but once something happens we do not have the opportunity to change the past. Only Jesus has that power, and He has a plan, no matter what happens. Everything happens to everybody because Jesus wills it. If He wants it to happen, it will happen. Remember that.
Forget regret, I want, and I will choose to be happy.